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Sunday, April 25, 2004

My Weekend 

This has not been a good weekend - let me just get that out on the table now. I was so tired when I got home Friday morning I could hardly function. Sleep deprivation is something I talk about and let me tell you, it is not a way to live. I don't think I got over 3 hours in any single night all last week. It showed, it was like being drunk without the fun.

After our meetings this week a couple of my fellow Florida Reps and I had our own little meeting. One of my closest friends at work, as well as our strongest supporter, left the company. It rocked our little world. As we scurried to try and find our balance after the news we realized how much we would have to depend on each other. It's gonna be rough the next month or so. We are already stretched so thin and now our largest territory is open. I'll fill in a bit but it's 3 hours from my house and 6 hours from my normal territory. Add my move in there and I'm already wondering how it will all get done.

When we got to the airport we grabbed a bit of dinner and a couple beers. I have been so tired I haven't drank at all lately and these kinda kicked me in the gut. (I'm old - becoming a light weight.) We say our good byes and head to our separate gates. The time to board my plane comes and I get settled in my seat. I'm tired, buzzing slightly and just want to be home. I look up and there stood the first guy I ever loved. Haven't seen him in 2 years. We had dated for about a year and after that time I had discovered he was married. You can only imagine how I felt when that news was presented (and not from him, by the way.) He is standing there smiling at me and says "Where have you been? Why haven't you called?" I couldn't say a word. First the shock of seeing him and then the audacity of what he said! So I copped out. I just said Hi. He ends up in the seat just in front of me. So of course I take the brave route and pull out the lap top and act like I'm working. He just keeps trying to talk and everyone is watching us. I finally told him I really needed to focus on my reports so he says he'll wait until we get off the plane. Shit - he did. Now please know I got my zingers in every chance I could, but didn't want to go off on him in public. I was just too damn vulnerable to put up with a scene. As we take our leave at the baggage claim, he asks if he could call me. I ask if he still has the cell phone number, he said yes and I told him he could call it if he wants to. Oh, did I mention my cell phone number changed over a year ago - I have no idea who has the number now, but he'll have a tough time finding me! I know, it was a weak way to blow him off, but it was all I could manage at the time. At least I won't be hearing from him.

All those thoughts and feelings were running thru my head when I got home. I couldn't go to sleep. So when I finally got round on Friday morning I knew I needed to get my head together. I decide to get my car in shape. I'm driving to Atlanta Monday morning and wanted to make sure my baby, Maggie May, was at her best. I go to Pep Boys and they are changing the oil and replacing a belt and deciding how bad my tires really are. I go outside to smoke one of my rare cigarettes and sit on the curb. Have you guys ever heard of fire ants? Well, they are the devils soldiers. They swarm and attack for no reason. I am very, very allergic. I look down on my waist and I'm loaded for bear. I quickly brush as many off as possible and rush to the bathroom to strip and shake out my clothes. Too late. I've got about 10 pretty bad bites. Normally I have to go to the ER, at the least I take Benedryl. I don't have either option that day. I gotta work thru it. It was pretty shaky for a while, but by Sunday morning most of the effects have worn off. I feel like I did a very strenuous work out, my muscles are just killing me - but the worst is over.

Oh - did I mention that I had a major training class early Saturday morning. After about 4 hours sleep I had to get up and drive to Orlando, navigate thru a really bad accident, arrive 15 mins late for my class and then try and rush an hours presentation into 30 mins. I bombed. I admit it. I did take the opportunity to talk with each sales person, apologize for my lateness and acknowledge that their time is very valuable and stay around for the rest of the morning to answer questions at their leisure. But still - I bombed.

So - today I'm at my cousins for a bit of family time. We're just chatting and such trying to enjoy what time we can have together. Once I move these visits will be rare.


Anyway - that was my weekend. I've got to unpack from last week, and repack for next week. I need to clean out the car and get all my paperwork together. So what am I doing? Sitting here blogging away. I HATE BEING A GROWN UP.

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