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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Thought You Should Know 

Have I mentioned that I'm at least part Italian? Yeah, we figured that out pretty early in my life. Being adopted back in the '60s there wasn't much info, but this was pretty obvious.

I also researched enough about my birth parents to know that my father had a temper. A pretty bad one. Add to that his green eyes and the fact that he was 6'4" and I'd say I know what I inherited from him.

My case worker always said I look just like my birth mother. I find that very difficult to imagine, as my whole life I've always looked and acted different than anyone in my family. She remembered my mother, and that's a story for another day. She says I'm very much like her.

However, no one could figure out where this temper comes from. And believe me - it has been a life long struggle to control it. I can say in all honesty I think I have it beat - except for my mouth. If something hits me wrong I will speak up. And if you go after someone or something I care about, I will let you have it.

I was thinking, the last time I really lost my temper was over 8 years ago. Before that, it was at least 4. And both times it was because someone was "attacking" (one verbally and once physically) someone I love.

Now I've found an outlet for the things that really hit me wrong. This Blog. I'm able to put a voice to this rage that sometimes just bubbles up when I see stupid or hurtful things. And because I am writing it out I take the time to think it through. It's not JUST a knee jerk reaction. That's a good thing.

You see - despite everything I'm just a good ole' girl at heart. I can mingle with anyone in society and hold my own. Believe it or not, I can actually be charming. But when I'm in my own environment, with the people I am most comfortable with I'm just a down-home country girl, and damn proud of it.

Black and white - things are pretty much black or white with me. Right and wrong. And no matter how you paint it - mean, vindictive actions/words are wrong. Lying is wrong. And I won't, no I can't just stand by and let it go.

So every once in a while I'll have a bit of temper. Just warning you.


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My "Other" Family - Fizzen Sparks