Tuesday, June 01, 2004
I also researched enough about my birth parents to know that my father had a temper. A pretty bad one. Add to that his green eyes and the fact that he was 6'4" and I'd say I know what I inherited from him.
My case worker always said I look just like my birth mother. I find that very difficult to imagine, as my whole life I've always looked and acted different than anyone in my family. She remembered my mother, and that's a story for another day. She says I'm very much like her.
However, no one could figure out where this temper comes from. And believe me - it has been a life long struggle to control it. I can say in all honesty I think I have it beat - except for my mouth. If something hits me wrong I will speak up. And if you go after someone or something I care about, I will let you have it.
I was thinking, the last time I really lost my temper was over 8 years ago. Before that, it was at least 4. And both times it was because someone was "attacking" (one verbally and once physically) someone I love.
Now I've found an outlet for the things that really hit me wrong. This Blog. I'm able to put a voice to this rage that sometimes just bubbles up when I see stupid or hurtful things. And because I am writing it out I take the time to think it through. It's not JUST a knee jerk reaction. That's a good thing.
You see - despite everything I'm just a good ole' girl at heart. I can mingle with anyone in society and hold my own. Believe it or not, I can actually be charming. But when I'm in my own environment, with the people I am most comfortable with I'm just a down-home country girl, and damn proud of it.
Black and white - things are pretty much black or white with me. Right and wrong. And no matter how you paint it - mean, vindictive actions/words are wrong. Lying is wrong. And I won't, no I can't just stand by and let it go.
So every once in a while I'll have a bit of temper. Just warning you.