Sunday, September 19, 2004
It's my version of the Sunday Comics. (Hey, maybe we'll start that as a regular thing, like SQotD)
Subject: NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES: Afghanistan Cruise
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Ed Asner,Whoppi Goldberg, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach,Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.
Please pack for an extended stay...at least four more years
Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.
Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Monica Lewinsky as recreation director, Ted Kennedy as lifeguard and emergency procedures director, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes,friends and loved ones, please direct your comments Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she an watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.