Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The funny thing is it was no single thing that threw me. It just built over the day. As each hour went by my mood sunk. That is really funny if you knew that I messed up my regulator clock in the living room when I "sprung forward" so it's permanently SIX something right now. (I do this with every time change - I've got to have that thing worked on.)
Anyway - it was just a long flippin' day. Loooooonnnnnnngggggg day. And an even longer night. Everything just seemed to be moving in slow motion and trust me when I tell you there was nothin' goin' on that I wanted to enjoy THAT much!!!!
And I know there will be days like this. I'm just a little ticked that I seem to be having so many so soon. Maybe part of it is the lack of things to do. Last time I went through a little employment hiatus I had the pool and the beach in easy reach. I'd bust my hump posting and take an hour or two break every afternoon to just get outside. Enjoy the sunshine, float in the water, take a walk on the beach. Sun and water - always a good cure for me. The weather has been kinda stormy here so that's been out. Plus, to be honest, I don't know what the townfolk would think of the crazy new lady walkin' around her backyard in a bathing suit with the sprinkler goin' in April. Yeah, probably not the impression I want to give.
Oh and don't think I don't have "things" to do. I've got a basement to organize, a garage to empty, a house to clean. I got stuff. I just don't care. I don't care if my basement is a maze of boxes, I don't care that I've still got to go out the garage to get something. Nope. Don't care.
It's my brain. My brain won't let me unfocus. My brain just won't stop running scenarios of doom. My brain, always trying to come up with a plan is spinnin' like an old tire on ice. And I just can't get the damned thing outta gear.
So.........I apologize for the ventin' post below. I really hadn't thought when I wrote that. I just needed to "get it out". But yes, I'm strugglin' right now. It'll be fine. It'll all be fine. It's just not fine right now. THAT'S my problem.